I realize that by writing this, I am opening myself up for others' criticism. I considered disabling comments and not posting it to Facebook, but then I realized that I am still putting this out in a very public way. If I leave it for the public to read, I should just be a woman and take any comments that come my way.
For me, thank you cards are a very complex phenomenon. There is a good chance that I have already said thank you to the individuals to whom I will send cards. When I think about all of the thank you cards I have ever received, I cannot remember one that didn't end up in the trash. I appreciated the conformance to societal rules, but inwardly thought, "They didn't have to waste all of this effort. I knew they appreciated the gift I gave them." I'm sure there is someone out there thinking, "Don't rock the etiquette boat!" I'm not. I'm just wondering when this became part of etiquette. I even Googled it to see if I could find when thank you notes became popular but couldn't find any information. Should that lead me to believe that it has always been a part of civilized society?
I am just now finishing up my thank you cards from the wedding. For one reason and another, they have not been completed before now. Please don't judge me - you all lead busy lives too! Since I know there are people who would be offended by the non-receipt of a thank you card, I am finishing them. The cramps in my hand just caused me to question the reason for them.
What do you guys think about thank you cards? Are they a necessity or do we all worry about that one person who is a stickler for etiquette while inwardly wishing that we didn't have to do them? And please don't get me wrong; I am very grateful for everything we received. I just have a lot of time to think while writing.
I think thank you cards are a nice, yet unnecessary, touch. I enjoy receiving them, and at the same time, I have never once been annoyed at *not* receiving one. They always end up in the recycling eventually.
ReplyDeleteI try to send thank you cards for some things, but I'm woefully inadequate when it comes to etiquette. We have friends who send them EVERY time. It's a nice touch, but again, they always end up being tossed later.
As for me, save your stamps - you thanked us in person. :-) <3
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ReplyDeleteI never even finished my thank-you cards after we got married. :( The month we came back from our honeymoon, I started a new job and school, and by September, had mono. I asked the same questions you asked! I felt so bad about not finishing them. I was thankful for all the gifts we received though...
ReplyDeleteIt took me a long time to do my Thankyou's!!
ReplyDeleteBut that was because I really appreciated everything everyone gave and wanted to write each person a personalized letter! Esp since I moved and wasn't going to see so many of them for awhile.
I think people just write thankyou's as a routine...
But when I send a gift to someone year after year for their birthday or Christmas, and never hear a Thank you or they never even let me know if they got it, it does annoy me. :) (I have one person in mind right now, and don't know if I should even give them anything this year, because they never acknowledge that they even got it.)
So...it may seem unnecessary...but it is not. :)
Depending on how many you invite to you wedding, soirée, cattle branding; there may be some who's gifts are not immediately acknowledged or thoughtfulness thanked during the busy event. If you were prevented from personally thank them, Your thank you note "closes the loop" so they know you received their gift. It gives them another opportunity to remember the happy event ( making plans to visit uninvited to check on you... :-) ).
ReplyDeleteThe personal thank you note by post, also helps keep your all important address book current for important family event such as the annual school Christmas paper sale, or the announcement and donation request for your project to knit winter booties for the community of "barn kittens" in the neighborhood.
I hope this will give you some small sense of why, even today, the local Hallmark shop still has not expanded the "singing card" section into the worn shelves holding those quiet, elegant, EMBOSSED Thank You! cards in boxes lined shoulder to shoulder like a mighty regiment ready to do battle in the war for decent and civilized culture in our increasingly "vulgar" society!
:-p
I detest thank you cards. That's my 2 cents. :-) But if I put a lot of effort into a gift that isn't for someone closely related, it does give me a warm fuzzy feeling if they send me a thank you note. It tells me they at least took the time to acknowledge the effort I made. If my immediate family sent me a thank-you card on the other hand, I think I would be border line offended. I mean, they ought to know me well enough that a verbal thank-you is more than sufficient. But I'm soooo with you on thank-you cards. Give them to people you couldn't thank in person, and don't worry about the rest. (unless the gift came from someone over about 40-then they still expect you to follow etiquette, lol.)
ReplyDeletePS- who remembers whether or not they got a thank-you card for something, anyway?
ReplyDeleteIt is definately still considered the polite thing to do... and I agree with Gene - after all, keeping your address book up to date is very important, so you can send us all announcements when you and Cameron have your first baby ;)
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Rosalie though - if it a close relation (i.e. sister, mother, cousin you see every week at church) a warm thank you in person is probably sufficient.
I want you all to know that my thank you cards are basically finished. I can think of 5 or 6 that I need to try to get a hold of people that I don't have addresses for. Thankfully, most of them would be ok with a FB message as thank you!
ReplyDelete