When I am alone in the apartment, I often glance through the peep-hole to make sure no one is outside the door. Even if I am just walking by or sitting across the room, I look to see if there is light coming through because that means no one is there. Yesterday, as I was vacuuming, I glanced out as I went past and thought I saw something. I promptly had to put my eye up to it and see if there was really anything there. There wasn't. Looking through the hole from a distance had skewed what I could see until it looked like something was there.
My overly analytical mind immediately began comparing that to life. We can know our surroundings, and see them clearly, but how clearly do we see the things outside our little world? For instance, on Facebook yesterday, someone posted something like this. "Some woman is whining that her city has made her sick. If you don't like living here, MOVE." Someone put a comment, reminding this person that the city really might have made her sick, and it was her right and responsibility to make sure that people are aware that there is a problem so that the issue can be fixed. They also said that maybe the woman couldn't afford to move, etc, and the answer isn't always that simple. We are all prone to jump to conclusions about things we see in life, skewing them according to the lens that we view them through. I hope that I can learn to be a little less judgmental, and be a little more open to seeing things through other peoples' peepholes.
One thing that can teach you to be less judgmental very quickly is being misjudged yourself. As life goes on and that happens a few times, you begin to realize that maybe you just don't know everything there is to know about a particular situation so it's better to pray for people and be slow to speak. Love is so important to keeping the right perspective. When we love, we are much more careful how we handle things. When our main concern is to judge (because we know right from wrong), we tend to be harsh in judgment. When our main concern is for the person, we still know what is right but we allow God's Spirit to direct us as to when and what and where to say what needs to be said.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to say, I really liked your analogy.
ReplyDeleteOne way I have helped myself to not be too judgmental is that I have created for myself (in my mind) the picture of a puzzle that has been worked but has a piece or two missing. People are looking terrified but I can't see why. When the missing pieces are put into the puzzle, I see a man firing a gun into the crowd. For me, this picture in my mind helps me when things are going on that I don't understand. Rather than jump to conclusions, I tell myself, "There are pieces missing in this picture and you don't know what they are. Don't draw conclusions because you don't have enough information to do that."
Thanks, Sis Mitchi. Those are really good thoughts. I came home from work today, thinking that I should have taken some of my own advice. I didn't say everything on my mind, but I did label people today. "Crotchety, dumb, etc." Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully things will look brighter.
ReplyDeleteI happened to tune in to Dr. Asa on a radio station I listen to. Normally I don't listen to him but he was saying some stuff that caught my attention so I stayed tuned in. He was talking about how good attitudes affect our health and he made this statement which I latched onto: "If there's someone you don't like, DON'T DWELL ON the 80% of things you don't like about them. Think about the few good things about them that you do like and dwell on those." The comment really helped me because there is one particular person I work with who really "gets on my nerves"-- mainly because the inefficient way she does HER job actually affect MY job. I have had a tendency to think more on the things she is doing that rub me the wrong way and I've had to do some serious praying about how she affects me. I really felt like God allowed me to hear that comment by Dr Asa as an answer to my prayers so that I could use some wisdom in how to handle my thoughts about her.
ReplyDeleteI love this post and have been thinking about it for a week now. I find myself doing this all the time. I try to catch myself, but don't always succeed. What I have noticed, however, is that I notice when others verbalize their judgments. When I notice someone else doing it, I check myself and realize I'm starting to do it too. But, ask Jo about the people in Rue 21 the other night. Eep!
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